Gone Too Soon - Part 2

So this is another sad story huh? Oh yes it is. It seems everybody’s gone to some far places lately, and I don’t mean literally. 

 

Just recently, another very dear friend of mine passed away due to brain cancer as declared. He was my friend back in call center old times and is very dear to me. He’s one of a kind in a sense that he is the only one I know with too much energy and vigor, very enthusiastic, very hearty. In years of friendship, I never saw him get tired, or sad or complain about anything. He can manage to laugh about all of it all the time… his cheerful disposition is contagious, you can never have a dull moment around him.

Everybody who knows him will attest to my statements, I know… but there is one thing that makes him so special to me. He makes sure to call and greet me on my birthdays. Well, don’t get me wrong, all my friends greet me on my birthdays and I love ‘em all, but not all of them will call just to say “happy birthday”, and that is what I love most about him. Every year, I know I can expect a call from him within the day of my birthday. God knows I will miss him.

His demise was shocking. Nobody, even his family, has foreseen this episode in our lives. In a matter of weeks, or so, he left everybody speculating on the incidents unknown… on what could have been the pain, the agony… the tortures he so tried to overcome. He is too young to go at the age of 25. This was probably one of the many factors that causes regrets on the ones he left. Apparently, however we think about  it, we can never get him back. He is with his creator and father, we know he is relieved and happy.

This event, though unlikely, is another chance to reflect on life, how it can be too short to live by. It is another chance to realize and let ourselves out of negative hang-ups, let ourselves feel how we are blessed and loved… let everybody else feel our love for them. As they say life is too short to dwell on regrets, pains and heartaches. Smile and let everyone feel the happiness you are willing to share.

Leadership.. in My Story

What is a Leader? Someone that leads or guides... one who is in charge or in command... one who has influence or power. Generally, from these descriptions, a leader should be somebody who is authoritative, somebody who has a strong personality.

Unfortunately, not all people who meet the standards above mentioned  can be a leader of good character and morale. The biggest challenge is how to maintain good leadership ethics while being able to lead effectively.

I've been under and across different kinds of leaders before I became a leader myself. The journey was disheartening, but very fulfilling. The most significant lesson I learned is to keep the faith in my principles of being righteous no matter what happens. Easier said than done, because it became very hard to deal with provoking scenarios and monster situations

During the course, I learned how to be sensitive... to listen.. to follow... to reach down... to discipline... to inspire... to instill positive attitudes... and most of all, to aim to be a person of honorable character.

As I continue the cruise, I intend to be an advocate of modesty, honesty, empathy, loyalty and righteousness. I oath to guide my people and mold them to be of good reputation and morality. They will be a leader someday, and though it will be very shaky I know they will be proud of themselves.

Gone Too Soon...

Years ago (not sure when exactly), a very dear friend of mine was diagnosed with a serious illness - Leukemia : a cancer of the blood or the bone marrow. His condition was kept confidential, and only his family knew the real score of his failing health. After some time of struggling and fighting over the Big C for the sake of his family and loved ones, he breathed his last on October of 2010.

I was on my way home when I got the bad news from one of our common friends. I was struck, I felt I was frozen... I can't move, I can't think. My long hopeful days has finally come to an end. He's gone.

I went directly to the computer shop to post my sentiment of Facebook... I need an outlet, I can't contain my disbelief. Apparently, it didn't help. I went home, do my usual routine and fell asleep. Days after, I went to my beau's place which is two houses away from the wake. I know I need to go to my friend and pay respect but I can't. I feel like I was not ready yet. Another set of days passed, on one of those nights, he visited me in a dream. I was walking in an alley directing to our street when he suddenly appeared beside me from behind... held my hand then walked away, back to where he appeared from. As I was looking at him with clueless reaction, he waved goodbye at the end of the alley and gestured "I'll go now". The dream was almost real, his smile was bright and genuine. It was as if he is ready to leave. When I woke up, I know what I need to do.. and I know I must do it regardless if I'm ready or not. I went to him on the last day of his wake, but I need to wait for my beau to tag along with me since I have a tendency to pass out on unlikely situations. He held my hand tight as he lead me to the house, I was trembling as I walked through the gate and saw the large tarpaulin image in front of their home... my hands began to shake. I felt hesitant, but I need to be brave. Finally we reached the doorstep, and as I lean forward to see his better half sitting in front of the coffin, I broke down in tears and grabbed my beau out of the house. Until now I still wonder what made me cry that day, was is the reality quickly rushing in on me, or the look in the eyes of his wife where I instantly felt the pain and the loss. It took me a while to regain my composure, then at last I was able to peek on the coffin and see him.

I was able to talk to his widowed wife (who is also a dear friend), and I never can imagine the agony they had gone through and their battle against death. For the first time, I admired her for her courage because I know deep inside me that death is something that I will never be able to overcome. I know she's breaking apart, but she needs to be tough for their son. It was when I realized, we're too young for this kind of torture. I mean, we can worry about other things that people our age worry about, like money, temptations or career.... but not death.

It was the last night of his wake, and resentments were overflowing. He was young, talented and amiable. There could have been more in life that awaits him. All day, all we want to do is remember how blissful our younger years were. He was a funster, normally the most loud mouthed and the most hyper active among the group. He would play all around, joke all he wants and laugh his heart out.. never a dull moment around him. We fight, yes! All friends do, all normal people do... but that's only one of the childish things we make.

No matter how extravagant our lives were, the memory of "what was" will still bring us to the reality of "what is". Now, we can't be able to see him again, laugh with him again, dance with him again, even fight with him again. Whenever I open my Facebook account, how I wish his message will still pop up the screen and delight me. 

Wherever you are, we know you are happy because you are home. We miss you Jericho.

Thank you for the memories, thank you for the friendship.

Jhoy and JL loves you and misses you so much!

My First Blog Experience....

I don't exactly know how to start my first post on my first blog. I am just happy I'm already in it. This is technically not my first blog because I had my very first in Friendster way back 2009, if I'm not mistaken. In there, I was able to feature my friends and my opinions about them. I had it posted in Facebook for their reference since I know and I understand that most of them already forgot they had a Friendster account... hehe! And I want them to remember my tribute to them.

But this is officially my first in a popular blog platform. My feelings: thrilled! Do I sound overacting? Yes! But it's really what I feel right now. I was like, "wow, this is it!"

I was not familiar with blog sites (though I know they exist), all I know are the blogs from Friendster which I admire at that time, and notes on Facebook. I never thought that there are different blog sites which are better and which offers FREE service for writers and writers by heart (that's me!). Yes, you read it right! I'm not a writer by profession. I'm only a writer by passion. I know that I have a gift for writing since I was a kid, but I underestimated it. I had hopes of becoming a journalist, but hopes were gone through constant reminders that I won't make money by writing. What do I know? Only one thing is certain as far as family is concerned, they will financially need my help one day. My dreams died, but not my passion. I feel it every time I write... may it be for personal or business purposes.

Until one day I came across a high school friend, which is a blogger and a writer, through Facebook. She was a co-editor in our high school newspaper. Through her I learned that I don't need to be a writer to be a blogger, that I can blog my personal thoughts for my personal desire. Then, voila ! My very own blog.

This blog will serve as a mirror of my thoughts and my life. I wish to share my happiness and my sentiments here. This is my sanctuary.... my realm.

Expect to hear more from me on my upcoming posts. 'Till next !

Special Thanks to Ms. Jhoanna Mae Pareja. Please visit her blogs at xeiazoleyka.i.ph , jhoannamaepareja.blogspot.com , and ibreatheiwrite.tumblr.com.